Suicide Mission

Dearest Son,

You, My Love, have had quite the last few days.  

Sleep has never really been your thing.  Ever.   Even when you were itty-bitty (oh, how I miss that itty-bitty snugbug!) and people suggested that newborns sleep ANYWHERE...at anytime...you didn't.  You didn't sleep in restuarants, the car, other people's homes...sheesh...you rarely slept at home...in your bassinet....with white noise....and swaddled....and rocked.  You only slept ON Mommy.   But, as you've grown, you come to accept that sleep is a part of life and some days you even welcome it.   Often, however, you decide that you aren't really feeling it.  And, when you don't sleep....neither does Mommy....or Daddy (that's not really true...Daddy sleeps....I just put that in so when he reads it he won't get upset ;-) .  

Because you have these AWFUL molars coming in, you are teething horribly and are quite miserable.  I feel so badly for you.  Teething has disrupted your sleep for the last several nights.  You wake up in the middle of the night and you wake up VERY EARLY in the morning (4:22am, 5am, etc) and refuse to go back to sleep.  Yawn.

On Saturday morning, you woke up at 5 am.  Daddy was up getting ready to leave for a work trip for 5 days, so he was happy you were up so he could play with you before he left.   You are all over the place...crawling, cruising (walking, holding onto furniture) and climbing like a billy goat...stairs, furniture, people, wherever you can gain traction, you climb.   You were crawling on the floor in my bathroom and fell on your cheek on the tile floor...POOR BABY.  You cried so hard.  And you have your first "shiner".  Your little cheek has a bruise.  :-(

Later Saturday, you and I went to Ann's house.  Mommy & Ann were catching up while you played with Addie and Ryan.   Ann happened to set down her (stemless) glass of white wine on the floor next to her and you managed to crawl over, grab it with 2 hands and take a swig!   I FREAKED OUT.  I don't think you actually swallowed it...but it definitely touched your lips.  You licked your lips and smacked them and smiled.   You are your father's son.  (hehe)

Today, however, was the icing on the cake.  Remember your hatred for sleep I mentioned...yeah well, you are insanely overtired because you haven't been napping well or sleeping  well at night.  You were up at 5 am today and throwing fits by 7.   Mommy was determined to get you to nap.   We went through our sleeptime routine...and I put you in your crib.  Where you talked to your blankie and your toys on the floor for an hour.  It clearly wasn't working so I got you up for 20 minutes.  We played and read.  And then I put you back in your crib, and told you it was time to go to sleep.   You were mad.   You cried for a bit, but then you calmed down and were quietly playing.  Many times, you just play/talk yourself to sleep..so this is normal.  Then you got mad again and were fussing.  All the sudden, I was downstairs and heard a *thud* and you SCREAMING.  I race upstairs and into your room.  You are sitting IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR BEDROOM...on the floor, crying.  You climbed/flipped/jumped (I really don't know) out of your crib!!!!!   You terrified me.  My heart was beating a million miles a minute.  I was bawling..you were bawling.  Luckily, your guardian angel (who has already earned her keep in your 12 short months on this earth) protected you and you were fine.  You scared yourself, which is hopefully a good thing.   Mommy lowered your crib ALL the way down, and you finally took a nap. 

No dull moments with you around, Hudson Kane.  I love you to pieces but would prefer that you stay in ONE piece. 

Love,

Mommy

One year ago tonight.....

One year ago tonight, I had not yet seen your face, I hadn't yet held you.  I had not yet kissed you. 
One year ago tonight, you had not yet made me laugh hysterically or cry from a sheer sense of pride and awe.

However, somehow, I already loved you.   I already adored you.  

One year ago tonight, Mommy and Daddy were at the hospital.   You were "due" to be born two weeks earlier, but you still had shown no signs of making an appearance.   Mommy tried EVERYTHING to entice your arrival, but to no avail.   Dr. Cap said that it was time to encourage your arrival medically.    We were anxious, nervous and filled with anticipation.   We were so excited to meet you!!

After many hours (21 to be exact) of Mommy in labor, you were born on January 20th at 3:54 pm.   I still remember the first time I saw your face.  You were perfect.   I can't wait to tell you the story of your birthday when you are a little bit older. 

I don't have the words to explain how my love has intensified and grown by the minute in the last year.    

Your first birthday is bittersweet to me, as I partly feel as though I am losing my baby, but also feel SO PROUD of the little boy you are becoming.  You have an awesome personality.  You are funny, smart, sweet and fiesty.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing your face. You are my best friend.  

Happy 1st Birthday, my sweet little Roo-Roo.  Mommy loves you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

Your first word.........

...............................WAS MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I was so proud.

You said it for the first time on September 24th--4 days after you turned 8 months old!   You said it with intent and you said it multiple times that day!  

You are the love of my life, little man!!

Since then, you've added the words "Hi" (which you say to EVERYONE and a hundred times a day) and "bye-bye", both complete with waves;  You wave to your daddy every time you see him and you wave to strangers and say hi.  You are quite the social butterfly.   You also say "Dadda".  And, much to my dismay, you now also say "No"!!  I have tried to be very careful about using that word directed at you...for this exact reason.   You think it is hysterical.   You say it while laughing and crawling to places and things you know are off limits....such as electrical cords and outlets, Dalton's room, garbage cans, etc.  

You try to say "Hudson" and do a decent job :-)   You also say "uh-oh" as you continue to throw food from your highchair.    You say "up" when you want out of your carseat or highchair.  And you say "ball", which is one of your favorite toys. 

You also give (slobbery, open mouth) kisses, that I happen to adore.  You clap at yourself whenever you are proud of your accomplishments.  You have *the best* clap ever!!   It is full of excitement and you clap your hands up and down so they swipe one another, as though you are dusting off your hands--rather than a direct clap.   We adore it.  

You are a little babbling chatterbox constantly.   Wish we knew what went on in that little head of yours!!

****PICS WILL BE ADDED***********